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Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been..... 12 years since my last confession.

I once filled a condom with watered down mayonnaise and slipped it into the lasagna bin at my high school whilst passing through to get my lunch. Much chaos ensued...

I am deeply sorry for all the fun I had with that.

i really admire people who put their secrets out in the open.

i trust everyone.

When I was four to six years old, I used to stuff toy blocks in my undies while I slept.

When I was a wee, I used to hold funerals with my dolls.

I feel lonely a lot. 

I'm afraid I'll always be alone

Sometimes I wonder if we're right for each other, or that we're even meant to be. But then my hun looks at me and smiles and I feel like if not forever, then right now will do just fine.

I also sometimes wish I were the opposite sex. This is not at all helped by the fact that I can't seem to stop thinking. Not about one subject, but just anything. It's not that I have ADD or something, in fact I am able to focus quite well on something (some are amazed at the tedious little things I can get done without going crazy from boredom). But while I'm focusing, portions of my mind are on fifty different things. Possibilities of the past, the future, philosophy, psychology, theoretical physics, anything. It's why I have such anxiety, why I can't start something without finishing it. I don't know if it's normal, or indicative of some common psychological tick...but it often feels too strong for that.
Yeah, this was a bit long...but I'm just going to stop now so I don't overstay my ranting welcome.

I am a complete male virgin that has never had sex or a relationship with either gender or otherwise

i also have wished to be the opposite gender in my past but realize differently now.

 

 

i feel so lonely. And i can't forget my ex-girlffriend >.<

I feel I will never be better than the other guy, there is always someone out there better than me. Why would any girl want to be with me when there is always "Him" the other guy. It's not my fault I dont look perfect, not my fault I cant meet the standards set so high by everyone else.

I like to sleep nakie.

I have an irrational fear of the dark.

I can't stand to be alone.

I'm afraid of Master leaving me.

Some days, I imagine doing horrible things to people that annoy me... Beating them to a mess, tearing at their skin, breaking them and destroying them very animalistically... Thing is when I imagine this... The little voice that's in your head that's supposed tell you "No thats wrong and sick"... It isnt there, I can imagine all this and Im fine with it...

There is a certain user here, and if he doesn't start using a spellchecker soon, I'm going to LOSE MY MIND.

IfAnonymous wrote:

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There is a certain user here, and if he doesn't start using a spellchecker soon, I'm going to LOSE MY MIND.

---

 If its who I think it is, the user is dyslexic.

I hope long is ok

When I was little, a friend and I found a group of kittens near my dad's trailer and started playing with them. We didn't stop until we realized they weren't moving...... I will never get over that, it's the worst thing I could ever do.

ummm, I guess all the other stuff I'll admit freely to people. But for those who have secrets especially rape and molestation ones. I was taken from the yard at 5 and molested heavily (I use molested because I was not pubescent). I spent quite a few years of my life after that detached from the world. It became rather obvious to me though that trust is necessary, so despite my experiences in the world making it obvious that people are not to be trusted I forced myself to trust others. Because without trust you cannot find happiness with others. The thing that kept me going as I had my trust continually broken was that there were people out there with serious problems, and no one willing to trust that they were telling the truth. I've had many problems for being a willing sap, but for those people I helped by being there when no one seemed to be, I'm glad I dealt with all the crap of the human world. 

I met a guy, he was korean, he was older, we became sex friends, he took my virginity, he asked if I was looking for a boyfriend, I said no, he acted kind and caring, he takes me out to lunch, he pays for birth control pills, he asked if I was okay, he told me to ask him anything, he called me a lot, he tells me about his life, his family and his experience, I called him oppa, I started to like him, I love his scent, his touch, his strong grip and the way he encourage me to hug him, but I never express it, I was shy, I couldn't open up to new people, it takes time for me to get close, but I really do like him, he then had a family issue, didn't want to meet much, started to drift apart, at that time I met master by accident, he persuaded me, I was hooked, but I found it hard to leave my friend, master say I am his slave in destiny, and that the guy is not my master but he is, out of the blue he came into my life with the exact interest even though I wasn't even looking for it, it took me so long to accept it, I couldn't tell my friend, I really liked him, we kept drifting away, it's been 5 months since we last talked and met, I wanted to see him again, we talked again, he seems to care for me, I'm not sure, I came to his house, we sleep together in the dim room with sunlight passing through, he asked me what I was thinking, how have I been this past five months, I wanted to tell him, I couldn't say a word, I said nothing, so stupid of me, I miss him, when we lay together he didn't even hug me, I wanted to wrap my arms around him so bad, I could'nt, we said a light goodbye while I went home, that day was a beautiful clear blue sky, it was the last time we ever meet again, I tried to talk to him, he doesn't call much anymore, twice he called me just to say hi, I thought it was sweet, but they were all bad timing, so the conversation were awkward, I miss him so much, sometimes I send him messages, he often doesn't reply, one day he said I have to tell you something, he have a girl friend now, she is a good girl, am I not a good girl..  , but I understand, I showed no feelings, we are just sex friends, he doesn't care for me, why would he, I think he forgot me now, I hope he is happy, I cry when I see him online, I'm scared to talk to him, my master makes me happy, I adore my master, it's so great to know him, I trust in him and he takes care of me, but I wish I could still talk to oppa...  it's all my fault I miss you, when Christmas comes, I want to say Merry Christmas to you, see if I still exist..

I honestly think I'm smarter than everybody else.  I don't look down on anybody for being less smart than me, but I do think I'm smarter.  I have trouble when I look at the world and I look at things and I think, "but it's so obvious, how can you not get that?" 
It's as if everythingis 2+2=4.  It all looks that way to me.  So why do they think it =5 and they think it =3?  And then I wanna get mad, because HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT!!!
It not even like it's that hard.