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What kinds of things do you do to show your kitty affection though? Maybe I will has ideas for Master...

Yeah, I mention that to Master but he never does it, it makes me a sad kitty, what other kinds of things do you guys do to show affection?

This kitty definitely loves attention and affection. Sometimes when Sir is on the computer, I'll plop myself down on his lap and snuggle against him. Or when we're laying in bed, I just curl up against him. I pretty much just cling to him until I feel like I've gotten the attention and affection I need =^.^=
Some times I'll even grab his hand and rub it in circles on my tummy until he gets the hint that I want a tummy rub.
And Sir usually scratches and pets through my hair, or scratches my back (which I absolutely love). He even makes it a point to come over and bug...I mean, give me attention when I've been a bit too absorbed on my laptop =^.^= Which usually just consists of him hugging me and petting through my hair.

If your Master/Owner isn't petting you for some reason, or giving you affection, the only thing I can suggest is to expirament. Maybe you could encourage or start things off by cuddling up next to him... tell him you need a petting or even a massage.

I annoy my kitty all the time with random petting, cuddling and affection... all it takes is doing it, there isn't anything to know HOW to do.

Ok, so last night Master came over and it was ok. Master was sitting on the couch and I laid my head on his lap. He put his arm on my shoulder but I moved it to my head. He started petting and I was loving it so I curled up even more against him. Then he stopped and took his hand away and it was the end. It was a good break through, but it made me sad that he did it for only a few minutes. I got off him and curled up in the other chair and fell asleep. That was how it went. Depressed kitty in the end.

Master and I have had serious talks about us and if we are too young to be engaged, but I love Master more then anything, and am more then willing to do anything to keep Master. There are lots of sacrifices that I have made in order to make Master happy. And I'm sure with time and more practice from both of us, things will be a lot better for us. I have hope.

I tell him that it would mean a lot to me if he would play with me or pet me but he just keeps telling me that he doesn't know what to do. But when ever real kitties come around he always plays with them and pets them and lets them sit on his lap, but when I try to do it, he tells me that he doesn't know what to do. Master is still kind of new at all of this so I just want to give him time to adjust to it all.

I think it's only because Master is still new at this and its a little "strange" I guess one could say, but I know fer sure that Master will get better and so will I. =^.^=

Jynx Darkitten wrote:

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he is a guy and he is nervous about what it might lead to animals and humans are diffrent alot diffrent they are easier to show effection to cause they are impossible to tick off they always forgive you he is afriad of doing somthign stupid and ruining it for you and him both he loves you to death im sure and i know you love him from what you say its hard for me to show affection to my Mistress cause i am a kitten but im also a guy im afraid of somthign leading to somthing and me ****ing everything up and i loose her she knows it is really easy to get me yiffy (horny) very easy if you know the right spots how to rub them and no i dont mean me crotch well now im going off topic but to rap this up i would talk with him about it not as a pet but as his girlfriend i know when you boil it down that is what it is bf and gf with collars and leashes and always remeber what i say you have the boobs you have the power

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Actually I will have to disagree with you Dark,


  It's quite easy for a human to show affection, if he truly wishes to. Even the simplest of animals respond and can show affection in turn. You remove every intelligent thought, every bit of wisdom, and philosophy from us.

There is three basic needs a animal/human needs.


Love, food, shelter.


So I have to agree with Paw and Saberrah, 'Kisa'.  If your Master continues to say "I don't know what to do." And doesn't bother to learn 'what to do'.


I think there is more of a problem then just inexperience. When someone doesn't know something, and they want to know, they learn.


If after a few hints he just doen't respond, you may want to have a serious talk about the future of your relationship.


Simply because your in a BDSM relationship, doesn't mean it has to be lacking out of all the things a normal relationship has too.


Love and affection included, without those things, no relationship (Unless the slave is broken, and simply has become a doormat). Can last without those things.

 

Just checking up on how things are going. Got to read through everything. As a guy and as a Dom I truely still hold true to affection and love. If a guy can get over the 'Ugh I make fire' Stage in there personality of being comfortable and just open up then petting loving and cuddling become so easy! I could spend everyday cuddling and laying around wiff my kitty, I have my 'guy' moments but there at least still cute. I suggest try giving him that affection, when he gets used to you doing it then he may be more inclined to doing it back. At least if anything doing it that way and showing him how to do it can rule out the *sorry* excuse that he doesn't know how. But keep us up to date, I'm glad you both can talk about those issues. Don't ever break the lines of communication that's more important in a d/s enviroment than anything else, even more so in a relationship. You got big kitty ears and he at least has ears *I hope* use them often!

YAY KISA *does a happy kitty wiggle dance of joy* interesting tactic! I luff it =^.^= well I'm definatly glad everything is doing better I actually was quite worried about you x.x my thoughts are definatly still with you

No you can't do the happy kitty wiggle dance of joy that's MINE everyone else does the 'Not so sad feline jirating rythic movment of excitement'

*huggles Miss Joli* I'm so happy too! Today, Master and I are going to Wal*Mart to look at the fishies, and I might get one! Jeebus, pretty soon I'll be running a zoo! My family and I have a dog, a cat, a rat, a bunny, and possibly soon a fishie! But I love animals so its awesome! I'm sorry, I didn't know that I couldn't do the happy wiggle dance thing.... *swishes tail back and forth and raises paws* yay for dance...

if i did that, master would get VERY pissed. and i've been asking him for more attention too. he's very active, and would rather play video games or run around than cuddle. it kind of upsets me, because even though we live fairly close together, i'm away for extended periods for school, so we don't get to spend much time together. when we get that chance, i'd rather spend that time cuddling than watching him play call of duty or mario 64.

beside that, he doesn't really like the idea of me as a housecat. he'd prefer a big cat, but he plays with my pet cats whenever he visits my house. i think he just doesn't know how to react to it, or he's scared to acknowledge that, hey, maybe it's true, that's what she really wants.

we made a little bit of progress on it when he took me shopping for ears (we didn't get them, because we tried to find dental fit fangs, then we had a play to go to) and when he ordered my collar (i should get it before i have to leave!)

so i feel your pain. i wish you and your master the best!

how much time is too much?
I assume somebody works.... that's 8 hours of your day
I know you both sleep... that's another 8 hours (perhaps a little less)

That only leaves 8 hours (give or take a few for less sleep, travel, meal times, etc.)


Then again... maybe I'm just too picky.

Personally, I don't think I could be with a Master that doesn't work hard to make sure my needs are taken care of. Especially if I'm doing everything possible and working very hard to make sure that I have pleased him in every way possible. An unhappy slave will not produce the desired results.

slave's needs
Master's needs
Master's wants
slave's wants

Why should a slave's needs come first? Well, because like children, we are now the responsibility of our Master's. Like a child's needs comes before your own, a slave's needs must be met by the Master. Although, sometimes, we only 'want' what we think we 'need', but again our Masters can tell. However, I don't think yours is a 'want', but a definite 'need'. Most slaves/subs/pets require attention.

Perhaps your Master is just not ready to be a Master? Or perhaps he just doesn't want to be the Master you need? Or perhaps he just doesn't understand how much you 'need' this?

I wish I knew what to tell you, sweetie.

(p.s. I know you're not a slave, either. I was just using that as a reference point)

Okays, I have to say this cause...you're just making me want to pounce you and never let go! Your situation is just too sad. YOU DESERVE BETTER! You deserve to be given affection and snuggles. You deserve to be TRULY LOVED. You deserve to be encouraged to grow as a pet and as a woman. You deserve someone to notice you. You deserve to have your needs fulfilled! You deserve to know that you can tell your partner anything and everything without fear of rejection or punishment. You deserve to be pampered! You deserve a HEALTHY and HAPPY RELATIONSHIP with a MAN that TREASURES YOU!
You're not getting any of that. Yes, it IS right to be selfish in this. This is your heart that is getting damaged. Whether he reads this thread or not, I do believe it would be healthier and better for you to find someone who CAN give you everything you need, because it's what you DESERVE!
*Huggles* I know the decision is ultimately yours, but you have been so sad for quite a long time now. I think it's time you truly thought of yourself.

What they said

Do you really want to waste your time on a guy who'd rather PLAY GAMES than pay attention to you, sweetie?

He's acting like an immature jerk. You need a MAN, not a frat boy!

In any case, do what you must, but please, PLEEEEASE don't waste your potential on someone who's not willing/able to give you what you want and need. :(

Take care of yourself, hon. *hugs*

As much as he is ignoring of me, Master is nothing compared to my last relationship. Master's behaviour towards me is as harmless as a blade of grass. My last relationship started out wonderful. He told me all of the wonderful things I needed to hear, he was sweet to me, took me out to eat, everything, that was the first year, and then everything went downhill. He became very abusive and raped me multiple times. That went on for two years. He told me every day that I was worthless, and that I was only good for sex and gas money. I got so depressed that I had been hospitalized because I attempted to end my life. I never left the house after that.

A few months after we moved into our new house a family moved in behind us. We found out that the mom ran day care and it was perfect because my brother had just been born and I was still not old enough to stay home by myself. This mom had a son. It was the cutest crush ever, he showed me all of his games, all of his toys, everything. I hung out with his sister all the time only so I could be around this boy that I had a crush on. We eventually grew up and I was old enough to stay home, but my brother was not. He still went to the day care and I had to bring him home. I was going to get him when I saw the boy outside with his arm around this girl. I looked at him and walked away.

Fast forward five years with three years of abuse to December 07.

I took my brother and my mum to the local GameStop to pick up a PS2 or something like that, but we were looking around and we were about to leave and I noticed someone at the counter, it was the boy who lived behind me. And I was the only one who noticed.

A few days later I got a call from someone, I was a little confused at who it was and then he said his name and I almost fell over. It was the boy who lived behind me. We talked and I gave him my cell number and we talked more and more. He invited me over one day, and to my surprise he was still at home. It turns out that he had moved out with the girl from the past and everything got ruined and she turned out to be a bitch, but I already knew that, so he had to move back home. We talked more and hung out more, and one day, on the 20th of December, he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was the best day of my life. On February 22nd, he asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes!

Fast forward to August 08.

The boy told me that he didn't want to get married anymore. Everything was starting to go bad after that.

Fast forward to today.

That is the back story, I think it helps a little understand what I've been through, and that Master's behaviour is pretty much nothing compared to what I've been through, I just need to get over my past and get over my issues because it's just all silly to remember everything that has happened to me, so I need to move on past my past and then Master and I can get better.

Unfortunately it's hard to get over years of abuse.
It'll be a baggage you'll be carrying with you.
The trick is not letting it affect your current or future relationships.

But I agree with what everyone's said so far: even though your current Master is better compared to these jerks, it's obvious he's not giving you what you need.
Rather than being miserable or begging a scrap of love from him, isn't it better to be alone to search for someone better, possibly Mr. Right?

everyone has raised valid points.

what everyone wants for you (even him!) is for you to be happy with who you are, and how far you've come from what happened in your past.

if i may be so bold, i'll say that i am going to a psychologist for help with some issues. and it's helping. i've always told everyone to do what's best for them, and lately i haven't been doing that for myself. i refused to acknowledge my problems, and i was making everyone miserable as a result, ESPECIALLY my boyfriend. to the point where it may have ruined our relationship beyond repair. we're both working on making ourselves happy, and getting individual counseling, so that we can try to get to the point we were at when we started dating a little over a year ago. i don't think we ever will get there, because no damage can ever go away completely. but we're trying.

everyone has a difficult past to cope with every day, some just happen to have been dealt a worse hand earlier on. i'm not going to pretend that my situation is any worse than yours. everyone has their own troubles, which often leads to people being understanding of other peoples' problems. but no matter how many probems anyone has ever heard or had, it's never any easier to tell anyone what's going wrong in your life, and it's even harder to tell those problems to a complete stranger, like a psychologist. even harder, perhaps, to express all of it to people you may never meet. so i want to thank you for being open and honest enough to say everything that you've said. your man doesn't realize how lucky he is to have someone like you, who is so trusting and open. not a lot of women are that willing to open up, and i really admire that trait in you.

we are more than our fetishes. you really deserve to be happy, because you are so special and unique and wonderful. you are more than a cat, you are a wonderful woman, and you should be treated as such. and any man who can't appreciate what a great person you are... well... consider what's so great about him, against what has gone wrong. my guess is that the cons will outweigh the pros.

at this point, it makes me sad to say that... i'm not going to say to try and make it work. he's not putting any effort into it, from what i can see. if you think it's worth it, dear, go for it. but if he doesn't see that "he done you wrong" (if you will), then you deserve much better. and i have all the confidence in the world that you're going to find someone who will make you happier than you are now. it may be this guy, it may be someone else.

do what's best for you, what's in your best interest. because you truly deserve happiness.

best of luck to you, hon. i wish you all the happiness in the world.

If they prescribed you meds, then they were psychiatrists.

Not that all of them are bad, but I don't particularly like psychiatrists because the most common solution is to simply throw meds at the person.

Well... since when has Prozac actually resolved an issue? Meds are a band-aid. They don't fix anything.

I suggest a psychologist.
The difference is that a psychiatrist is a medical Dr. and therefore can (and too often do) prescribe medications.
A psychologist is only a Phd. Therefore they spend their time listening and trying to help YOU work through and understand YOUR OWN issues. It's more of a teach a man to fish philosophy*

It can be rather hard to open up to one, though. You can always do a little research on the ones in your area and check out their public record. Many will allow you to come in and meet with them (not for a session, just to meet) and in that time you can ask them a few important questions. The questions you will have to come up with on your own, but use that to help you find the kind of Dr. you need.
For example: Let's say I was struggling over having had an abortion (just an example)... the last thing I would want to do would be to hook up with a Dr. that is likely to make me feel guilty for that. One of the questions I might ask a Dr. that I'm interviewing would be how often do their personal beliefs affect their advice.
A real example would be: How do you feel about BDSM and such related.
Why? Well, it's a big part of my life, so I can't get hooked with a Dr. that's gonna think I'm "sick".
If you go through a good interview process, you're likely to find one you'll find very comfortable talking with.
If you come across one that won't allow you to do a pre-session meet-n-greet... then already you know that they are not the Dr. for you. (and what I would say to the receptionist before I hung up the phone is: so he/she doesn't want me to know what a bad Dr. they are before I've paid, huh?)

But I'm making these suggestions for you to take care of YOU. If it ends up fixing your relationship, GREAT! But the most important part is that it helps you learn to cope with your issues and teaches you the skills needed to deal with others that will come to you in the future.

As for what that guy might do to you....
Don't you worry your pretty little head. There are plenty of ways to take care of that. *grin* Trust me *wink*


*Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day; Teach a man to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime

I don't want to repeat over and over what everyone else said. I agree completly...

EXCEPT : I need to make something clear...

There is no mr right, there is no perfect man. There is only those few men in the world that know they are human, that know they **** up, that know they make mistakes BUT they strive to be mr. Right and strive to be the perfect man.

If your searching for mr. Right he's gone afk and you won't get ahold of him. Try looking for someone that will meet your needs and will make you happy for your life and be a HEALTY relationship

There is no mr right, don't settle for mr right now tho...

There is no mr perfect, don't think perfection is only on the outside

There is only men, we suck... Some of us know that and are trying to make a difference

Here is a few things to look for that I know I Strive to do

-open the damn car door/front door... Sheesh it's easy!!
-Make sure everyday no matter what you say WITH WORDS 'I love you' and 'your beatiful/pretty/gorgeous' no matter what
-Go shopping at least once a month, you DONTA HAVE TO BUY ANYTHING just have fun giggling and playing life size dress up
-my personal favorite-- grow some balls and buy her tampons!! Seriosly it's not that big of a deal and means alot to her. Trust me when she runs out late night and you kiss her on the cheak and head out the door and go out of your way to help her.. Even pick up her favorite candy bar! Shell melt!
-If she dresses up or wears makup or if your lucky and she wears something sexy... She's probably not doing it cuz she is comfy... ****in notice her!!! Or at least appriciate the time she spent to do something special for you..
-Ramen noodles and resident evil 4 is not a date... Period
-Listen to her... Christ I can't stress this enough!! God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason USE IT!!!... 2/3 of the time you should be listening.. Not hearing but actually listening
-My biggest pet peeve... I know were guys, we like the womens but if your in a relationship .. THAT IS THE ONLY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD act like you care about her wait don't act... CARE! Don't drive down the road checking out girls, don't look at porn, I go as far as if there is even a chick on the screen in anything closely resembling nudity or even underwear I look away, your eyes belong to your loved one and your attention in this regaurd should be on her
-Last but not least style is epic.. Get some, and corodination isn't just something you try to do when getting a drunk test, wear some decent clothes!!! Match and shower everyday and you'll be awsome troof

/end soapbox resume normal thread

-- Edited by Remamian at 16:54, 2009-01-10

-- Edited by Remamian at 17:02, 2009-01-10

-- Edited by Remamian at 17:04, 2009-01-10

I totally agree with Remamian!
I'm very lucky, Master does all the listed and more.
That's how I know he really cares about me.

Sometimes he'd tell me not to put him on a pedestal regarding him as perfect but I always reply to him "I wasn't seeking a perfect man, I looked for the perfect man for ME".

Which, Kisa dear, is what you should seek for yourself.
There is no Mr. Right or Perfect, but there is certainly someone who is The Mr. Right or Perfect for YOU (I hope you understand the difference?)