Kittenplay Forum now at http://kittenplay.net

TorbjornS · Veteran Member

BDSM vs Society

wingless · Veteran Member

i find im quite lucky as although where i work im one of the few that are into the lifestyle im very open about it and i think beacuse im not nervious about talking to people and dont act ashamed at all people accept it, i do have a reputation where i work and everyone knows me and what im into but theres no one that dislikes it or me because of it, i live in a house share and the 3 other guys i live with are vanilla and know what im into, tey dont mind and are even happy with kitten walking round on all fours behind me etc

Temko · Senior Member

society is a big word.

i live in holland, one of (if not THE) most ethicly liberal counties on the world. where i can walk in at any office and tell the bos i'm gay and not get a blink, on the flipside... if i walk in and tell the same bos i enjoy haning my wife shackled from the cealing wile i work her with a whip... and suddenly it's a whole lot more then a blink :P

so, ranging from my personal live, where i neither hide it nor shout it from the rooftops. to my proffesional life where it's simply a matter of discression of not going into a water-cooler discussion on what the best type of material is for a whip.

Though there are no laws against BDSM in holland, you could get into some trouble with the law if your partner decided to file assault/abuse on you. proving you have consent is a ****ton of annoyance,but that just means picking partners with care.

other then that, some people frown upon it (like they do with anything), others dont get it and dont care, and others again are fine with it as long as you dont go around talking left and right about it on all levels.

DaddysTouch · Veteran Member

Here in the UK it depends. Legally, BDSM itself is a bit of a legal grey area as there is contradictory case law and the interpretation is not clear.

For example, one famous case ruled that you cannot consent to injury unless it is 'trivial or transient'. Well, what's trivial and transient? Bruises are not permanent, but what about bruising that takes weeks to heal? What about a cut that might heal but also might scar? Breaking bones is not permanent, but would a court let you walk free after breaking your lover's legs? Needles?

So it's all a bit murky and unclear.

BDSM imagery is more clearly and specifically prohibited if it meets certain criteria. You are not allowed to possess pornography if it depicts or realistically appears to depict 'serious injury' to the breasts, genitals or anus or an act threatening a person's life. So it is definitely ok to possess, say, images of someone's buttocks being caned or someone in bondage or being slapped in the face. Breathe play is a no no though, as are probably cutting of the breasts, genitals and anus. Needles and whippings are not clear though.

Socially, I think it depends on age a lot. You'll find the older generation in the BDSM world get very tittery over the whole thing, all excited over how naughty they are, but at the same time usually very fearful of friends/co-workers 'finding out'.

The younger generation don't seem to think much of BDSM, it just is what it is. Ironically, I find young kinky people are much less about rebellion and releasing pent up sexual frustration, and much more about genuinely liking domination/submission and/or sadism/masochism/bondage. It's much less taboo for us I think, and much less so for our peers so we're more open about it. Personally, I don't hide it at all. I don't go out of my way to tell people, but if it happens to be the natural course of a conversation for me to say that I like to hit girls, then I will do. Of my non-kinky friends, none have ever had an adverse reaction to my kink. Some have been interested or identified with it/me, most have been ambivalent and just say "whatever floats your boat," and some disapprove but aren't really bothered - not like we can't be friends or anything.

With my work it's hard to say. At my day job in a clothes store I was open about it, but then they're not really going to fire me for it. My freelance work it's never come up, but I'd be open about it if it did. Again, not the sort of thing where they'd be bothered. But those are both relatively informal employment.

If I were to get a professional job here when I leave university (hopefully I'll be moving to the US so that won't happen, or at least not for long!) then I'd probably be more careful but it wouldn't stop me putting face pictures on BDSM sites or use a pseudonym or anything.

TorbjornS · Veteran Member

In sweden has the guverment deklerd that what pepel are doing in the bedroom are not ther bisnies. But as Temko sad: "you could get into some trouble with the law if your partner decided to file assault/abuse on you." If you tied up a girl and hae sex whit her she can go direktly to the police and say she has been raipt. And then you are in trubel. But now laws agens BDSM exict and 1 jan 2009 they removed BDSM (sadomasochism, fetischism och transvestism) as a mentel disorder.

In the society i hade never experience a lot of preconception even that som has it but the big mase reakt. And al the goths runing in the street has don that cloths and associars are accepted. But if i take my girlfrend in a lech and start to wake in the street midel of the day pepel will lok some probley coment.