Kittenplay Forum now at http://kittenplay.net

I'm sticking this in here, since its not about kitties or I'd put it in the Crazy bin.
That being said, this has got to be the funniest damn profile from a site I've ever seen. I wrote to her to express my thanks for making me puke on my shoes but unfortunately I've yet to hear back.

About Me: 
This place is like Disneyland for adults except all the rides end at the free clinic. I also enjoy how everyone treats me like a suspect on dateline to catch a predator while they act like chris hansen. "Why are you here" "What are your intentions" are questions I get all day......Im not a 47 year old man bringing mad 20/20 in my pick-up so stop treating me that way.

Have you noticed the difference between normal and retardation is sometimes just the long E in the end of a name. Think about it?

doug...perfectly normal
dougie...wears elastic jeans, velcro shoes and collects star wars action figures

len= gay but normal
lenny= pets rabits to hard, has "special" strength, and likes the feel of hair

ralph...normal
ralphie...gets beat up at santa clause, shoots himself with a bb gun, daydreams non stop

I have traveled alot this year. I have come to some conclusions. One, MN is a weird little place, 2 Im glad I grew up in boston. Also, if america was a human body texas would be the dick. Because everytime I meet someone from texas I end up saying jesus christ he/she is a dick. California is the ******* for the same reason. Florida on the otherhand is just sjanky enough to be americas tramp stamp. Also like a tramp stamp its fun to be part of florida while young but you will grow to regret it.

I would like to charge myself and few others that I have run into for murdering the english language. Im tired of getting messages that I need a decoder ring and 2 cellmates to figure out. Seriously, showing your inability to form complete sentences without "dat, diss. wat, dose" is inexcuable. Its that, this, what, those....go drink a redbull and smack your grammer school teacher because she should have never passed you.

In all seriousness Im a meth addicted stripper thats pregnant. Im just about to go on house arrest and Im looking for some company. Can someone keep me company while Im cooking in the bathtub of my trailor?

What I'm Looking For: 
First I will light you on fire and push you to the ground. I will than pee on you screaming "house on fire, house on fire! put it out!!!! put it out!!!

Next, I will than feed you antifreeze until you pass out and you will wake up in excrutiating pain with a size 7 poop shoot! oh yes we will have chocolate fingers and tea as well. rip phil hartman

my favorite fling convo went like this

them.. I wanna do you
me...ok but I have aides and Im alergic to latex
them...dont care it will go well with the burning I already have
me....cool do you have a dog?
them....yes why?
me...no worries just make sure he is there and bring some peanut butter