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Post Info TOPIC: Collars in Public


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Collars in Public
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I was chatting on another web site on the topic of wearing collars in public.

The people in the chat-group felt that pets/subs should not wear their collars in public. They felt that since children might see the collar that it was inappropriate.

The logic behind their feelings was that by wearing a collar in public that the person was displaying that they are a submissive and that by doing so they are bringing their sex life into the public.

One of the women said she would be embarrassed if her child asked why is that woman wearing a dog collar.

I disagreed with this point of view. I feel that the collar is not a symbol of a sex life or of erotic play, but is a symbol of a life style. I dont think its any different then a Muslim women who wares a niqab in public to cover her face.

I would like to hear what others in this site feel about this:

Do you think it is ok to wear a collar in public? (why or why not)
If you wear a collar in public has anyone ever given you any grief for doing so?
If you have children/nieces/nephews that see you in a collar, has this caused problems? What do you tell them?
Any other comments are welcome.


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Bestia Vinco


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Do you think it is ok to wear a collar in public? (why or why not)

Yes, I do wear a collar in public! :)  In fact, I wear one 99 percent of the time.  The only times I don't wear a collar are when I am in water:  swimming, shower, etc.  I wear it because as a kitty it helps remind me of the special relationship I have with my Master.  And because I just love collars anyway. ;)

I agree with you completely here..  I don't think that any person should dress based on weather or not a child might -possibly- see them or not.  Especially if the item in question here is just a collar.  A collar seems pretty harmless to me.  However, if you're going to church wearing an electrical tape bra, that might be a completely different story.  lol!


If you wear a collar in public has anyone ever given you any grief for doing so?

Oh yes, I've gotten plenty of grief.  But I'll usually just smile and make a snappy come back. ;)  What other people think of my collar really isn't what is important.  And mostly, I think people are just curious, and also inexperienced with seeing something so blatant as that.  My collar has my name, my Master's name, and his phone number, and says "If lost, call...."  So, yes.  Sometimes I do get comments about that, but most think it is cute or take it more lightheartedly.

If you have children/nieces/nephews that see you in a collar, has this caused problems? What do you tell them?

Well, I have no children at all.  (And I don't plan to have any either.)  However, in April Master and me went to Florida for vacation for a week.  We had a lot of fun, and there was a mother and daughter at the hotel who we got to meet.  We would hang out in the mornings and by the pool and got to know them pretty well.  Well, eventually, the daughter got comfortable with me and said "Hey, you've got a cat collar on!"  And I said "Yup, I sure do!"  And she smiled and said "Now, we only need a leash, and we could take you for a walk!"  And the whole table - me, Master, and her mum burst out laughing.  I am sure her mother had some idea what me and Master were up to, but I doubt the seven year old daughter did. 

A bit of a ramble, but - that's the only time any children ever asked me about it.

^_^


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Do you think it is ok to wear a collar in public? (why or why not)

yes because not everyones going to know the real meaning of it

If you wear a collar in public has anyone ever given you any grief for doing so?

i wear a collar with my name tag in public and ive nevr had any greif for it, yes people look and if people do make comments its just to ask me if its comfortable or not, or ask what my tag says - which has my name and my tsr number.


If you have children/nieces/nephews that see you in a collar, has this caused problems?

i dont have any kids but its never been a problem with younger children

What do you tell them?

if people ask in general i say either 'i like wearing it' or 'my boyfriend likes me to wear it to show im his' i think they'd be a bit too shocked if i said 'my Master'


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previously I'd written a really long reply to this, but my browser crashed and I lost it! :(
What I said in short was I have a very thick white collar with a dog tag/bell that I wear 24/7, even in front of friends and family, it always helps me feel my role while I'm out and about with my owner. And in all honesty, i've received nothing but positive comments in my 2 years of wearing it. The only two odd replies I can ever recall was one while my owner was taking me to see a house for sale, the estate agent was desperate to try and read the tag on my collar, and second while I was at a bird show, a lady came up to me and said "Do you know what that collar means?" I said "What" in a bewildered manner. "It could mean...You are a slave, i'm a slave too!" lol and ever since then she and I have become very good friends, so having a collar has had a very positive impact on my life.

On the other side of the spectrum, I can understand the need for discretion with many people, if you have a very influential job for example, or you don't want your family to know etc.
The only thing I would currently draw the line at is being on leash in public, there are some things, currently which are too extreme, emotionally and physically for vanilla people to deal with, being on a leash is much more of a direct imposing symbolic statement, and this tends to frighten/scare people. Granted, if our society were more open minded (which I would do anything to achieve ) then this sort of thing could be enjoyable.
With saying this, there are occasions that I do get to wear a leash! At bdsm clubs, dungeons, at sexpos, costume/cosplay conventions, various anime events seem to have a lot of this. Also when my Master takes me up to the mountains in Colorado, I sometimes get to go for a walk on leash :) Is very cold in the snow though! Am thinking about making some leash walk videos for youtube actually, we'll see!

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Ive been walked around the town on a lead once by my Master, not in a really public bit, but on quite a busy street going back to my uni accomodation, a couple of people lookd surprised and some a bit intrigued, i dont like it a lot though coz i dont want anything bad to be said but york is a great place to be open about things, because people are so differnt and unique nothing gets said, or in rare cases you get japanese tourists wanting photos, in my hometown though, you would NEVER get away without chavs attacking you

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My collar is a part of me. It is a part of who I am on a fundamental level, and I refuse to take it off for any reason, other than when in water. I did however take it off recently for a funeral. I really didn't think that bells were appropriate, so I sacrificed it for a few hours.

I always wear my collar in public, and have gotten a few odd looks or naive questions, but never really any grief. My nephew has seen it, and he's twelve. He's never said anything about it.

There was a time when I was very shy about wearing a collar and bells and a tag, but now, I love it, and wouldn't have it any other way.

Toy


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I had my pet wearing one of these, 24/7

http://eternitycollars.com/shop/index.php?cPath=18

It was perfect, because it's very low key, it can seem like jewelry, or an affectation - but on the other hand, the collar can only be unscrewed with a special tool, so it's not easy to take off.  (when she was away from me she had access to it, on the strangely off chance it got caught on something)

She was in college, and never got grief about it - partly it's because it's low profile.   The only time she had trouble was airport security. ;)

The best part about them is that they can be worn all the time - including in the shower.  I would rather have that symbol of permanency - something shared between you, always, than something more ostentatious that screams at the world.


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Sterling wrote:

I had my pet wearing one of these, 24/7

http://eternitycollars.com/shop/index.php?cPath=18

It was perfect, because it's very low key, it can seem like jewelry, or an affectation - but on the other hand, the collar can only be unscrewed with a special tool, so it's not easy to take off.  (when she was away from me she had access to it, on the strangely off chance it got caught on something)

She was in college, and never got grief about it - partly it's because it's low profile.   The only time she had trouble was airport security. ;)

The best part about them is that they can be worn all the time - including in the shower.  I would rather have that symbol of permanency - something shared between you, always, than something more ostentatious that screams at the world.






I get in trouble at airport security too! ;p Sadly not just because of my collar, I have a special piercing somewhere very low, is a pain in the ass to explain!

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:)  So did she, but that one didn't set the alarm off.  She had a VCH... I take it you have the same or similar?

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I wore a silver band collar to a picnic for firefighters one day and got a lot of weird looks! LOL
(My Master/BF at the time was a firefighter)
I also wore it to my parents and...well, it didn't go very well. Mom severely reprimanded me and told me she never wants to see me wearing "that thing" in her house again. She said that its my life and Im free to do whatever, but things like that will not be brough in her home.


Since then I've kind of held off on wearing it in public...for one its a professional thing, a very taboo thing, especially around here. I live in a bible belt community where everyone knows everyone and if you fart and it smells suspicious they'll tell someone. O_o I've also been given quite a bit of poopoo about it from other firefighters..some are curious, others are freaked out and want to make fun, and then...well, my Chief kind of didnt like it.


But whenever I did get a chance to wear it with no fear of people ruining my reputation, say Im going to Memphis or Nashville I did. Now that I dont have a Master I dont have one that I can wear and feel connected in any way...smile.gif


Story short, this kitty loves her collars dearly....but unfortantly has to save wearing them out for special occasions. Sucks.

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Sterling wrote:

:) So did she, but that one didn't set the alarm off. She had a VCH... I take it you have the same or similar?




Mine is also a VCH, I actually wanted a HCH :*(  but I was tooo tiny for that angle or something! I found the whole thing delicious to get done anyway, was a really sexy girl doing it!



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Do you think it is ok to wear a collar in public? (why or why not)

I think it is.  Personally I feel that as long as there is nothing offensive written on it then one is free to wear what they want.  Actually the area I live around has a decent fur/anime/alternative type of crowd, as such every now and then I'll see somone wearing a collar (male and female)

If you wear a collar in public has anyone ever given you any grief for doing so?

Not really, I live in a decent size fur/anime/alternative area and although some people look at it oddly and some ridicule (mainly wannabe gang/rap/city kids) most are at the very least tolerant of it.  The *very* few times I have were interesting and most people more or less wanted to jingle the bell on it then anything else.

I think collars are something which can be interpreted as a "fashion accessory" or just something to add to what you normally wear for fun.  To me it doesn't denote something sexual as much as it says wants to be different in their own fun little way.

I hope I'm not coming off as a know it all with this especially since I'm new....just my honest opinion.  If I'm missing something let me know again I like to learn ^_^

~DN


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I think it's fine to wear a collar in public! Even if it means...getting the odd stare, every now and then..
To me, wearing a collar is almost like wearing an engagement band. x) They are similar, but...very different nonetheless.
*shrugs* I see it this way:

Engagement Band: I'm taken.

Wedding Band: Oh yes, I'm definately taken.

Collar: ...Bugger off, I'm taken!

*pokes her bottom lip thoughtfully*
Now...correct me if I'm wrong but.....aren't all of those...saying the same thing?

:3 Sooooo, if my feline logic serves me correctly...
logically..there's no problem with wearing them in public!
*Sage nod*


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Do you think it is ok to wear a collar in public? (why or why not)
Yes I do. I love my collar becuase not only is it my master's but its shiny too!
If you wear a collar in public has anyone ever given you any grief for doing so?
Mostly they tell me how pretty it is or if I am wearing a thick one, if I am hot.
If you have children/nieces/nephews that see you in a collar, has this caused problems? What do you tell them?
Yes I am around little kids, almost everyday. They mostly say that its shiny and try to take it for thier own.
Any other comments are welcome.
Most kids don't care. they just like what ever your wearing and really don't care why you wear it.


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* Do you think it is okay to wear a collar in public?

Yes, I believe it's fine to wear one in public. Too many people only view BDSM as sexual, when there are tons of lifestyles who could disagree with that. I find my collar as a symbol that I belong to my Master, just as if someone would wear a promise ring. If you don't like it, then don't look at me :3

* If you wear a collar in public has anyone ever given you any grief for doing so?

I've had two or three teachers tell me it was weird, but it wasn't a problem for me. I just ignore the person :3

* If you have children/nieces/nephews that see you in a collar, has this caused problems? What do you tell them?

Personally, none of the animals we've owned actually have collars. The children in my family have never associated collar = dog/cat. I have a son and he's noticed I have one on once in a while and he just likes to go over to me and jingle the tag. No big deal :3

* Any other comments?

A collar is what your Master and you make of it. It shouldn't be seen as sexual, but if that's what you see it as, then fine.

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At the point of time that I was collared, I was still in that rebellious "hardcore" phase of my life. So my collar (which is black chain with a small lock in the front) fit right in to the rest of my clothing. Not to mention, where I lived, no one thought of it as sexual.

Most people don't ask questions, and if they do, a simple "it was a present from my fiance, he has the key to it" usually has them melt and go "that's so adorable, it's like he has the key to your heart!" "....yea, something like that..." He wears the key on a necklace, and it's always funny at the moment people see us together and realize the key goes to the lock and such.

Although, once, I was sitting down and having a conversation with someone I had just been introduced to. We ended up in an intense discussion about politics, life choices, etc, and all of a sudden he hesitates mid-sentence of telling me something about him. He looks up, and sees my collar, and says "hold on a second. What does that necklace mean to you?" Pretty sure I know where this is about to go, I tell him "Oh, well, I'm in a dom/sub relationship, and it means that I'm the sub" (confusing enough that a vanilla person would probably go "WTF?" and one of us would get it), and sure enough, he's a sub too! That led to a great discussion. :)

Of course, I take my collar off to go to work (I'm a nanny for two younger girls) or when I wear something really dressy, but that's a personal choice my Master respects.

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To me, I don't see a collar as something sexual, I see it as a bond between master and slave.
I've had past slaves who never took their collar off ever, the collar was like a symbol of our closeness together and without it many of them felt like they were naked.
Having once bathed a pet in the past, when I went to take off her collar she looked at me pouting. Though it had been my first time bathing her, I learn't from her the kind of power such a small symbol has.

I do openly allow a slave to go collarless from time to time depending on the situation, though if they still want to wear it when I say they don't have to then they can continue wearing it.

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So, I'm a little late to come in to this topic, but it's one that I'm kinda passionate about, so yeah ^.^


Do you think it is ok to wear a collar in public? (why or why not)

It's more than ok to wear a collar in public. 9 times out of 10, people think it's some silly rebellious thing, or don't even realize what it is, so it won't cause problems, the 1 out of 10, realizes what it is, but they're usually in the lifestyle themselves :P


If you wear a collar in public has anyone ever given you any grief for doing so?

I personally have never gotten any grief, but I've heard stories. It's not like my old Master and I walked down the street with a leash chained to it, so most people just thought it was an odd choker.

If you have children/nieces/nephews that see you in a collar, has this caused problems? What do you tell them?

Yes, I wore my collar while teaching Sunday school at a church. EVERYONE I came across thought it was a choker.

Other comments:

Really, it's ALWAYS up to you and your comfort level. Some people can not care what others think, other people will always care what others think. Also, how much your collar actually resembles a dog collar will make a huge difference in how people see them. Both of the collars I wore were pretty ornate and did pass really easily as a choker.

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